It seems like yesterday that it was the 1980s/early 1990s and I was chugging slimmers Hi-c Ecto coolers with my friends while running around pretending to be He-Man ,
with a stick for my sword
and a trash can lid for a shield My grand parents yard the landscape of ancient eternia…. Jump forward several years and there is no longer hi-c Ecto cooler yet
i’m still pretendi
ng
to be he-man ,wrestling other pretend He-men in mock combat at the
local wrestling gym . times change but certain things remain.
I've been and done so much in my relatively short life I've been on TV ,Made comic books, been in movies , on radio ,slept with more women than i can count been interviewed in news papers and magazines . Life has been good but i still haven’t done enough still haven’t proved what i can do ,still haven’t shown the world what I’m capable of.
I've attained a level of local fame (perhaps infamy ) in my home town . people recognize me on the street that I've never met it’s not enough it’s never enough .
time is passing by and every day i fear it’ll run out , that the word will never properly acknowledge my greatness .Wannabes waste my time with with make believe scenarios, projects that will never happen and second hand goals while i go out and achieve my dreams but time I can not beat and death shall eventually be my defeat.
I met up with a female friend the other day at her college . She’s young and she’s some what attractive and smart as can be , I think she might be one of my best friends . We decide to go to the mall while there I saw our reflection in the mirror . I instantly got overwhelmingly depressed . I thought to my self I must look so old to her . I used to be handsome not model handsome or movie star handsome but a pretty good looking guy . I’m not that old still under thirty just beginning life really but it was another reminder of how time is catching up to me . My nose is bigger , my teeth no longer gleam ,crows feet ,and I’ve a slight double chin
this isn’t the Chris i remember just a stranger looking at me from the mirror . life is passing me ….
after wards i hit the gym this guy beating me good… welts cover my chest i do not notice or care… pain is a welcome old friend who reminds me of my child hood . I’m becoming more and more detached .
Long ago I accepted that to achieve my goals that i’d have to neglect my personal relationships . I would not have time for friends ,family or lovers(maybe time for love making ) .
I decided I’d never have children or be married i would just chase the dreams of my child hood . In this time I've dated literally hundreds of women I can not say
I was emotionally close to any of them . I remember a girl that for the summer all we did was make love and eat ice cream .How i miss my youthful exuberance .
I remember each girls kiss , the warmth of their hands ,the shape of their bodies, the way the smelled so vividly even if now their names escape me but not one was i ever in love with .
It use to worry me that i had never fallen in love , most people have their first loves when barely out of elementary school . I’d lay awake at night
wondering why i seemed incapable of romantic feelings if something was wrong with me i often wonder if i can make real emotional connections to any one . I still wonder but a new question has arisen why has no one ever been in love with me ? sure girls have been attracted to me even liked me but never been in love with me . with two and a half decades of existence shouldn't some one have been ?
I’m a handsome , hard working ,athletic and Accomplished young man who knows how to get money . have i sacrificed my personal relationships for more material goods only to be left an empty soulless husk of a man ? no friends, no family , no lovers and no one to pass on the perguidi name ? has time finally ran out ……… or do i perhaps have some greater destiny ahead of me only time will tell
I've been and done so much in my relatively short life I've been on TV ,Made comic books, been in movies , on radio ,slept with more women than i can count been interviewed in news papers and magazines . Life has been good but i still haven’t done enough still haven’t proved what i can do ,still haven’t shown the world what I’m capable of.
I've attained a level of local fame (perhaps infamy ) in my home town . people recognize me on the street that I've never met it’s not enough it’s never enough .
time is passing by and every day i fear it’ll run out , that the word will never properly acknowledge my greatness .Wannabes waste my time with with make believe scenarios, projects that will never happen and second hand goals while i go out and achieve my dreams but time I can not beat and death shall eventually be my defeat.
I met up with a female friend the other day at her college . She’s young and she’s some what attractive and smart as can be , I think she might be one of my best friends . We decide to go to the mall while there I saw our reflection in the mirror . I instantly got overwhelmingly depressed . I thought to my self I must look so old to her . I used to be handsome not model handsome or movie star handsome but a pretty good looking guy . I’m not that old still under thirty just beginning life really but it was another reminder of how time is catching up to me . My nose is bigger , my teeth no longer gleam ,crows feet ,and I’ve a slight double chin
this isn’t the Chris i remember just a stranger looking at me from the mirror . life is passing me ….
after wards i hit the gym this guy beating me good… welts cover my chest i do not notice or care… pain is a welcome old friend who reminds me of my child hood . I’m becoming more and more detached .
Long ago I accepted that to achieve my goals that i’d have to neglect my personal relationships . I would not have time for friends ,family or lovers(maybe time for love making ) .
I decided I’d never have children or be married i would just chase the dreams of my child hood . In this time I've dated literally hundreds of women I can not say
I was emotionally close to any of them . I remember a girl that for the summer all we did was make love and eat ice cream .How i miss my youthful exuberance .
I remember each girls kiss , the warmth of their hands ,the shape of their bodies, the way the smelled so vividly even if now their names escape me but not one was i ever in love with .
It use to worry me that i had never fallen in love , most people have their first loves when barely out of elementary school . I’d lay awake at night
wondering why i seemed incapable of romantic feelings if something was wrong with me i often wonder if i can make real emotional connections to any one . I still wonder but a new question has arisen why has no one ever been in love with me ? sure girls have been attracted to me even liked me but never been in love with me . with two and a half decades of existence shouldn't some one have been ?
I’m a handsome , hard working ,athletic and Accomplished young man who knows how to get money . have i sacrificed my personal relationships for more material goods only to be left an empty soulless husk of a man ? no friends, no family , no lovers and no one to pass on the perguidi name ? has time finally ran out ……… or do i perhaps have some greater destiny ahead of me only time will tell
